[A] Vocal Processor Unit: CARKED IT!
FALKEN was meant to chuck out beaut one-liners like "Dig's done, ya legend!" but nah - he's gone full galah. Now he's spittin' out old-school telly ads from the 90s... backwards. Every time he opens his gob, he kicks off impromptu karaoke, crankin' out disco bangers about firmware like he's on Australia's Got Malfunctions.
Status: "Oi! Now with BONUS steak knives?!"
Error Code: ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- / .---- ----- .---- ----- .----
[B] Memory Bank Omega: STUCK IN A BLOODY SPIN
FALKEN's Memory Bank Omega was where he kept all his top-shelf brain bits - y'know, important stuff like "Don't stack it into rocks" and "Oi, remember the good worms." But now the poor tin can's caught in an eternal defrag loop, like a tradie lookin' for his smoko break that never comes. Every time it tries to sort itself out, it forgets what it was even doin'. Real headless chook behaviour.
Status: "Sortin' food... wait, where's bloody food?!"
Error Code: babbb aabaa baaaa abbab babbb aabaa baaaa abbab abbab abbaa aabaa babbb aabaa baaaa abbab babbb aabaa baaaa abbab abbab abbaa aabaa abbab abbaa aabaa babbb aabaa baaaa abbab abbab abbaa aabaa abbab abbaa aabaa
[C] Optic Sensor Array: SEEN TOO MUCH, COBBA
FALKEN was built to suss out dirt 'n' tree roots, right? But nah, now his peepers are pickin' up heat from people's deep thoughts and bloody radio stations from who-knows-where. Bloke just stares off into the void muttering, "The code... it's alive..." like he's seen the bottom of a goon sack and found enlightenment.
Status: "Mate... I've seen things. Codey-lookin' things."
[D] Temperature Regulation Node: OVERCOMPENSATING
Designed to maintain optimal internal conditions, the node now fluctuated between "Arctic Tundra" and "Volcanic Spa" every 45 seconds. Steam vents hissed while icicles formed on Wally's chassis, which only added dramatic flair to his existential burrowing meltdown.
Status: "Am I hot? Am I cold? What even is thermal neutrality?"
Error Code: mrebmrebmrebbarbar mrebbarmrebbarbar
[E] Servo Cluster : ENGAGED IN EXPRESSIVE KINETICS
The back-left paw servo, in a baffling act of mechanical rebellion, has forsaken all known burrowing subroutines in favor of interpretive movement. It pirouettes with intent. It tap-dances with soul. Occasionally, it attempts a moonwalk with questionable traction. Tunnel progress? None. Hidden deep in its motion subroutines, engineers discovered a cryptic sequence labeled "br41n"-believed to be some kind of secret recipe, or perhaps just a jazz step.
Status: "Burrow to the beat."
Error Code: ++++++++++[>+>+++>+++++++>++++++++++<<<<-]>>++++++++++++++++++....+.-----------------.+++++++++++++++++....-.
[F & G] Navigation GyroSphere: SPINNING INFINITY
Designed to guide seamless subterranean turns, the Navigation GyroSphere has instead embraced a meditative state of constant rotation-affectionately dubbed "perma-spin" by the engineering team. Wally now spins in place with unwavering commitment, occasionally consulting passing squirrels for navigational wisdom. An intern was last seen flipping through the original blueprints, whispering, "Was this... always supposed to happen?"
Status: "Existentially unmoored. Elegantly dizzy."
